Episode: 30
Date: February 23, 1977
Time: 49:38
Musical Director:
Vocals: The Ladybirds
Producer: Mark Stuart
Director: Mark Stuart
Writer: Benny Hill


1villain year


  • Villain of The Year
  • The Reluctant Bridegroom
  • Victorian Scandals
  • Scout Jamboree





  • Fred Scuttle (imitating a criminal) - "Me stab a copper? I was cleaning my nails with a bread knife and he ran into it... twelve times... backwards!!"

  • Big Red - "Why should I help them with their investigations? I never helped him with his robberies."

  • Big Red - "He said, "I'm booking you for an immoral act!" I said, "Me? When?" He said, "How about next Friday?""

  • Big Benny - "And now a subject near and dear to our hearts... Police brutality. In particular, that of the copper breaking free of Bomber Smith's fingers... With his ribs."

  • Zipper Martin (as Al Jolson) - "Don't tell the landlord we have fleas. We're not allowed pets."

  • Ted Tingley (thinking) - "Look at that face. It looks as if it wore out two bodies...."

  • Elsie Bailey - "Oh, I'm wearing black on account of my dearly departed husband."
    Ted Tingley - "Oh, and may I ask when he departed?"
    Elsie Bailey - "Ten minutes ago, but he won't be back by six."

  • Elsie Bailey - "I'm warning you. My husband could be coming home soon."
    Ted Tingley - "Well, I'm not doing anything."
    Elsie Bailey - "I know, but if you are, you better get started!"

  • Harry - "It must be a face, it's got ears on it!"

  • Harry - "Straighten your stockings! They're getting all wrinkled!"
    Edie - I"m not wearing any!"

  • Edie - "Oh, I couldn't go to a movie like that! If I saw a movie like that, i'd have to hide my face."
    Harry - "Well, that's an idea, ain't it!"

  • Harry - "Don't you want to see The Monster From The Black Lagoon?"
    Paddy - "No, I just saw her!"

  • Harry - "She's just been to the neauty parlor!"
    Paddy - "Was it shut?"

  • Harry - "If we go out to eat, don't go mopping up your gravy with your bread."
    Paddy - "A lot of people mop up gravy with their bread."
    Harry - "Not off other people's plates!"

  • Edie - "I'd like to go through the haunted house."
    Harry - "You'd be at home in there, would you?"


  • Lorraine Doyle's first appearance on the series, but she appears as a member of Love Machine
  • Terry Dane seems a bit slow with his overcoat in "Doing The Flash." Although Benny, Henry, Eddie and Terry are wearing briefs underneath, he's still showing some pubic hair.
  • The Scout Jamboree tag seems to have been filmed at the same location as Bionic Boy.
  • Selected sketches from this episode appear in "One Night Video Stand" from HBO Home Video.