Bio
I Just Want to be in Your Band is a song written and performed by Benny Hill for his impersonation of entertainer Kenny Rogers in "The Monte Carbolic Show" sketch on June 6, 1982. It also appears on the "Video Spotlight" DVD from HBO video.
Lyrics
We met in Santa Fe where she ran a small cafe
First time that we kissed, my heart went thud.
It was a mouth full of nothing, but it tasted like heaven
Sound like a cow pulling it's foot out of the mud.
I helped her bake a pudding, and it was finger-licking good.
I thought that maybe someday she'd become my wife.
She hollered from the kitchen, "Kenny, would you trust the chicken?"
I said, "Of course I would my darling with my life."
I swear to God I only want to love you,
And I promise you that other men ain't banned.
I don't mind playing second fiddle, oh my darling,
I only want to be in your band!
This oil man from the West
He as sure as heck impressed my sensitive waif.
He said, "I have so many gold teeth that I sleep with my head in a safe."
He said, "Here's four hundred dollars if you come with me, darling, to my motel room."
It was unexpected, but she didn't fret and she wasn't upset.
She just kept cool, calm and collected, But I just want to be the one you run to
When you need someone to hold your hand.
I don't mind playing second fiddle, oh my darling,
I only want to be in your band!
This Englishman and this Aussie came in and started getting bossy.
Then this Frenchman says, "Do you have frog's legs?"
I said, "Oui!"
He said, "Right... Then let me see you hop over the bar and get me a glass of beer!"
The she walked through the door
They just stood there in awe.
I'm sure they've never seen a more beautiful sight.
The Australian said, "By Golly."
The Englishman said, "By George."
And the Frenchman said, "By tomorrow night."
Why do you need so many lovers?
It's something I'll never understand
But I don't mind playing second fiddle, oh my darling,
I only want to be in your band!
She said, "Kenny, you got a friendly face and your heart's in the right place.
"It's a pity that the rest of you is not, but you love me or so I'm told
"But would you love me if I got old?"
Like a fool, I said, "If you got old or what?"
She went off with George and Bill
And she took the money from the till
Good-bye was the only word she said.
I pray she'll come back again.
I haven't slept a wink since then cause she went away.
She took the bed!
But I loved to play Love's Violin when I was young,
And I've known many lovely ladies in this land.
But till the day I die I never will know why...
She never once let me play in her band!