The Fruit Vendor is the unnamed proprietor of a fruit stand that is constantly getting robbed and exploited by locals and pedestrians. After an apple is stolen, he accuses a young girl (Samantha Stevens) with a ball, only to discover the fruit was taken by a hungry police officer (Bob Todd). He is also stymied by a mother (Henry McGee) who dumps purloined oranges into a baby carriage concealing a female thief with a gun. After two women (Diana Darvey and Yvonne Dearman) steal fruit from him, the vendor rushes behind his stand to confront them, but he is unable to retrieve his merchandize as the items are concealed on their person. He also gets held up by a mugger (Bill Weston) who steals his clothes, leaving him to be chased by two female cops.
- Benny Hill played the vendor.
- This character possibly recurs in a later 80s sketch as a man giving a banana to Anna Dawson for her "monkey."