Benny's Place was the opening ballad of the March 14, 1979 episode. Written and produced by Benny Hill, it starred Roger Finch, Jenny Lee Wright and Jackie Wright as back-singers and centered around a restaurant in the American Southwest. Dressed as cow girls, the Hill's Angels in attendance were Sue Upton, Louise English, Pauline Crawford, Abigail Higgins, Francesca Whitburn, Sarah Woolett and Nola Haynes.


Now there was just my daughter and me when the hoodlums came in
They took the jukebox and money out of the till
And when they went out through the door, my daughter said, "Pa, I hung onto a fifty-dollar bill."
I asked, "Now, how the heck did you do that?"
"Well, I was sitting on it." said my daughter Nell
I said, "If only your dear sweet mother had been here,
"We could have saved the jukebox as well."
But at Benny's Place, last night at ten, Big Chief Sitting Bull blew in.
He had a plate of beans and then he blew out again.
You'll like it down at Benny's Place.


Now, I went to see Pete about getting some meat from the barbecue on Saturday Night.
When this English Rose with the turned up nose came in from the caravan site.
Now Pete said to me, "Sire, I prithee what might be that fair maid want."
She stuck her bucket on the counter asked for a pound of filet,
And Pete said, "A pound, you don't."
Well, Benny's Girls are real well bred,
We like them in blue, we like them in red.
We love them the best when we got them in green.
You'll like it down at Benny's Place?


Now, six Hell's Angels came in here one night and started picking on some little guy.
They pulled his hair, and then they pushed him off his chair...
And when he left I thought he was going to cry.
Well, the Hell's Angels said, "He ain't much of a man to let a bunch of dudes like us do what it likes."
I said, "He ain't much of a driver either; he just backed his truck over six brand new motor bikes!"
But at Benny's Place, we never get tight.
You can drink thirty pints, and it's still all right.
We did have a fellow burst last night.
You'll like it down at Benny's Place.


Now I saw Charlie parked outside his car
I said "Now tell me where's your beautiful wife?"
That woman just radiates happiness, she radiates a charm of life.
She radiates wit. she radiates wisdom , she radiates joy when she's speaking.
He said, "Well, that's grate, but at the moment, mate, my radiator's leaking."
Well, at Benny's Place, you get pork and beans
You can get waited on by them beauty queens.
They all walk around in those open-neck jeans.

Come on down to Benny's...
Come and spend your pennies..

You'll like it down at Benny's Place!