Benny's Place was the opening ballad of the March 14, 1979 episode. Written and produced by Benny Hill, it starred Roger Finch, Jenny Lee Wright and Jackie Wright as back-singers and centered around a restaurant in the American Southwest. Dressed as cow girls, the Hill's Angels in attendance were Sue Upton, Louise English, Pauline Crawford, Abigail Higgins, Francesca Whitburn, Sarah Woolett and Nola Haynes.


Well, it was just my daughter and me when the hoodlums came in
They took the cash and money out of the till
When I went out through the door, she said, "I hung on to a fifty-dollar bill."
I asked, "Now, how the heck did you do that?"
"Well, I was sitting on it." Said my daughter Nell
I said, "If only your dear sweet mother had been here,
"We could have saved the jukebox as well."
Well, Benny's Place locks up with town when Chief Sitting Bull blows in.
He has a plate of beans and then he blows out again.
You'd really like it down at Benny's Place.


Well, I went to see Pete about getting some meat for the barbecue on Saturday Night.
When this English Rose with a turned up nose came in from the caravan site.
Well that Pete said to me, "Well, I prithee see what that fair maid won't."
She stuck a pound on the counter asked for a pound of filling
And Pete said, "A pound, you won't."
Well, Benny's Girls are very well bred,
We like them in blue, we like them in red.
We love them the best when we got them in green.
Why don't you come down to Benny's Place?


Now, six Hell's Angels came in here one night and started picking on some little guy.
They pulled his hair, pushed him off his chair...
And when he left I thought he was going to cry.
Well, the Hell's Angels said, "He ain't much of a man to let a bunch of dudes like us do what it likes."
I said, "Well, he ain't much of a driver either; he just backed his truck over six brand new motor bikes!"
Well, at Benny's Place, we never get tired.
If you can drink six pints, well, you're still all right.
We did have a fellow burst last night.
You'll like it down at Benny's Place.


Well, I saw Charlie parked outside his car
I asked him, "Where is your beautiful wife?"
That woman just radiates happiness, she radiates a charm of life.
She radiates wisdom. She radiates joy when she's speaking.
He said, "Well, that's grate, but at the moment, mate, my radiator's leaking."
Well, at Benny's Place, you can get pork and beans
You can get waited on by them beauty queens.
They walk around in those open-neck jeans.
Come on down to Benny's...
Come on down to Benny's...
You'll like it down at Benny's Place!


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